Developing Patience

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By: Angy Talbot (ECFE Blog Writer)

Patience takes practice. Just practice a little every day – practice being calm, slowing down, being present…with yourself. Practice being kind, loving and forgiving with you first. Because you deserve it and it all begins with you.

~ Shel Dougherty

We all heard the saying, “Patience is a virtue” but what does that exactly mean. The word patience means to accept or tolerate delay, trouble or suffering without anger or upset. Virtue is defined as a quality desirable in a person and a behavior showing high moral standards. As parents, we can see the importance of having patience and strive to achieve those enviable actions with our children. But, sometimes it is a challenge to stay calm and our reactions are not always tolerant. Patience can be used as a tool to slow down and give us an opportunity to reflect and enjoy the process of our daily experiences. Patience is a skill that can be developed over time. Like any skill, the more you practice the better you get. The more you use the skill the more it will becomes a habit. When you feel yourself start to lose your patience, take a deep breath and remind yourself to react in love instead of anger.

Often we lose our patience because we’re in a hurry or rushed. I have learned to always allow extra time for my child especially in the morning before school. That extra 10 minutes can have a huge impact on your day. Being prepared has also helped me by having clothes, backpack and lunches ready the night before.   Children need warning time. I always tell my daughter when there is 5 minutes left before we need to leave or if she needs to end an activity. These warnings help children to transition. There are many different strategies you can implement that will help you and your child not feel rushed by giving you the opportunity to slow down. With children you should always anticipate delays.

Being calm is the key to patience. When you feel yourself getting angry, take a deep breath, or two. Relax your muscles and let it go. Try to calm yourself before you react. Finding coping strategies when you start to lose your cool are the most successful ways to develop patience. As parents, it can be hard to see things from your child’s point of view. Try not to focus on reacting to their behavior. Children often want to please us, but when they feel stressed they often shut down or struggle. Sometimes it is not only stress but they may feel hungry, tired or unsure of our requests. By trying to see the perspective of your child, will help better understand the situation. When you are more patient with your child they will be a better listener and learner. As parents, we are our children’s role models. When they see us react calmly they too will learn from this skill.

I came across a book called, Yell Less, Love More by Sheila Mc Craith. Here is a list from Sheila entitled, 10 Things I Learned When I Stopped Yelling and Started Loving More:

  1. Yelling isn’t the only thing I haven’t done in a year (399 days to be exact!).
  2. My kids are my most important audience.
  3. Kids are just kids; and not just kids, but people too.
  4. I can’t always control my kids’ actions, but I can always control my reaction.
  5. Yelling doesn’t work.
  6. Incredible moments can happen when you don’t yell.
  7. Not yelling is challenging, but it can be done!
  8. Often times, I am the problem, not my kids.
  9. Taking care of me helps me to not yell.
  10. Not yelling feels awesome.

For a more detailed descriptions and information go to The Orange Rhino Challenge at: http://theorangerhino.com/10-things-i-learned-when-i-stopped-yelling-at-my-kids-and-started-loving-more

As parents, we also need to take time for ourselves. We need to be sure we’re eating and getting enough sleep. We also need to ask for help when we need it. It’s okay to take a break and refuel ourselves. When your running on empty it is easy to lose patience or get frustrated easily. You need to take care of yourself in order to take better care of others. Be patient with yourself. Think positive and make your life simpler. Try to reduce stress and slow down. Be grateful for all you have and enjoy life!

“Patience is not simply the ability to wait – it’s how we behave while we’re waiting.”   ~ Joyce Meyer

Here’s a great article about patience:

How To Be A Calm Parent

http://www.abundantmama.com/how-to-be-a-calm-parent/

Quotes to Inspire Kids!

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By: Angy Talbot (ECFE Blog Writer/School Readiness Instructor)

I love quotes. Often, I can find the words I am trying to express by starting with a famous quote. Here are a few I found that can help inspire the youngest of minds.

“Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why we call it ‘The Present’.”
-Eleanor Roosevelt

“The time is always right to do what is right.”
-Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Always be a first-rate version of yourself,
instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.”
-Judy Garland

“Don’t let what you can’t do
stop you from doing what you can do.”
-John Wooden

“If things start happening, don’t worry, don’t stew, just go right along and you’ll start happening too.”
-Dr. Seuss

“Be who you are and say how you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
-Dr. Seuss

“Anything can happen child, anything can be!”
-Shel Silverstein

“If you have good thoughts…they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”
-Ronald Dahl

“I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.”
-Robert Munsh

“I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. I know I can!”
-Watty Pipper

“The more he gave away, the more delighted he became.”
-Marcus Pfister

“It is when we are most lost that we sometimes find our truest friends.”
-Brothers Grimm from Snow White

“When you know better you do better.”
-Maya Angelou

“No one is perfect – that’s why pencils have erasers.”
-Wolfgang Riebe

“Never waste a minute thinking of anyone you don’t like.”
-Eisenhower

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?”
-Dr. Suess

The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.
-Dr. Suess

“We must be the change we want to see.”
-Mahatma Gandhi

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.”
-Mark Twain

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.”
-Helen Keller

“The only man who never makes a mistake is the man who never does anything.”
-Theodore Roosevelt

“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.”
-Dalai Lama

“If you can dream it, you can do it.”
-Walt Disney

“By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.”
-Benjamin Franklin

“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”
-Dr. Seuss

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go…”
-Dr. Seuss

“Only surround yourself with people who will lift you higher.”
-Oprah Winfrey

“Other things may change us, but we start and end with family.”
-Anthony Brandt

Helping Your Child Through Separation Anxiety

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By: Angy Talbot (ECFE Blog Writer/School Readiness Instructor)

When my daughter first started daycare as a toddler she suffered with separation anxiety. I remember each day dropping her off and she would cry and look at me with bewildered eyes. As soon as we got into the car each morning, the lower lip would drop and I could see the anxiety in her face as we drove to child- care. I dreaded each morning because I knew she would be sad when I left and sometimes would cry or pull on my leg; it broke my heart! This went on for over a month. Finally, my daughter made a new friend and looked forward to playing with her. She also started to have fun making art projects, playing on the playground and being with other children her age at daycare. We finally came to the day when I would drop her off, give her a hug, walk to the door and say good-bye without tears (from either of us). I remember how hopeless I felt until we came up with some strategies for her separation anxiety with her teacher that truly helped. One thing I also learned was that it helped to have a “Good-bye Routine” that was expected each day, which made it much easier for us both to separate. I must admit, it was hard for me to say good-bye too, but when she saw my happy face and enthusiasm at each drop-off, she began to smile as well!

Separation Anxiety in young children is a normal stage of development. One thing to keep in mind is that separation anxiety is also a good sign that healthy attachment has been developed between child and caregiver. It is important for children to realize that even when their parent separates from them, that they will return. Separation is a great time to develop coping strategies and independence.

Listed below are a few tips that can help you and your child at times of separations (especially the first day of school):

  • Role-play with your child what will happen at drop off time. Practice pretending to walk to the door, give each other a hug and wave good-bye. Make a good-bye routine and practice it with your child. Then when you need to separate, follow the same routine you practiced together. End with a special ritual whether it is a giving a high-five or hug, before you exit (never sneak away).
  • Practice separating from your child by having a caregiver watch your child for a few hours or plan a play date.
  • Read stories to your child about school and separation from parents. My daughter’s favorite book was, I Love You All Day Long by Francesca Rusackas

Other Helpful Books:

What to Expect at Preschool (What to Expect Kids) by Heidi Murkoff

Preschool Day Hooray! by Linda Leopold Strauss

Maisy Goes to Preschool: A Maisy First Experience by Lucy Cousins

Llama Llama Misses Mama by Anna Dewdney

  • Make good-byes short and sweet. It never helps your child if you linger. Even if they begin to cry, do your last good-bye ritual, smile and tell your child you’ll be back, and head out the door. Always keep a brave face, and if you need to cry do it when you’re out of sight of your child (I did this for months!). Keep in mind, your child is fine and there are teachers and other children that are with him/her.
  • Make sure to get up a little extra early the morning of the first day, so no one feels rushed!  The mornings we are not rushed tends to make for a better drop off.
  • Make sure that your child is getting enough sleep and is going to bed at the same time each night.
  • Take pictures of the school, classroom, teachers, and make a little book just for your child.
  • Learn the teachers’ names and something about them to tell your child.
  • Drive by the school/daycare and point out, “There’s your new school!”
  • Meet the teachers and have a tour of the classroom before school starts (often schools will have an Open House). Show your child where you will be dropping off and where you will be saying good-bye. Let your child explore their new room making sure they know where their belongings go and where the bathroom is.
  • Have conversations about the kinds of things they will do at preschool or daycare (playing on the playground, playing with new friends, doing art projects, playing with blocks, etc.) and ask your child if they have any questions about school/childcare.
  • Go Shopping for school supplies with your child. Let them pick out their own backpack or folders. Make it a fun excursion just to get ready for school
  • The night before the big day, have all items laid out with their outfit and all school supplies needed. Let your child help too. They’ll enjoy picking out what they would like to wear.
  • Putting comfort items in your child’s backpack will help if they start to feel homesick. If it is a necklace they can wear, a picture of their family taped in their folder, or a special teddy bear can help children feel less anxious.
  • Don’t forget to celebrate with your child at pick-up time! Tell your child how proud you are of them!

It will generally take a few weeks before your child fully adjusts to a new school or childcare. Keep your morning routine consistent and your good-byes short, and your child will ultimately separate without tears or struggle and this will also build your child’s confidence.

Listed below are some other websites for more strategies on separation anxiety for young children:

http://www.brighthorizons.com/family-resources/e-family-news/2013-tips-for-reducing-separation-anxiety-in-young-children/

http://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/starting-preschool/separation-anxiety/dealing-with-separation-anxiety/

http://moms.popsugar.com/5-Tips-Easing-Your-Baby-Separation-Anxiety-27330657

http://www.ounceofprevention.org/ready-to-learn/separation-anxiety-in-children.php

http://www.ahaparenting.com/ages-stages/toddlers/helping-your-toddler-with-separation-anxiety

Getting Ready For Those First Days of School!

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By: Angy Talbot (ECFE Blog Writer/School Readiness Instructor)

Now that we’re coming to an end of the Dog Days of Summer, it is time to slowly switch our thoughts back to school. Summer days tend to be carefree, stress less, and relaxing. In just a few weeks, the busy bustle will begin again in full force. It can be quite a transition for children to switch from summer mode to school days. Now is a great opportunity to begin preparing your children for back to school!

Here are a few tips to help you gradually get back into the school groove.

• Go back to school shopping with your children. Let them help go through the list of what’s needed while letting them pick out the colors they like of certain items and their own backpack. Children will get more excited if they’re involved with the preparations and they will have ownership of their new items.

• School shopping for new clothes is always fun for kids. It is helpful to go through children’s clothes and shoes to make sure everything fits before the big shopping day. You can have special drawer or place in the closet that they can keep their new school clothes to wear for those first days. It helps to plan out which outfits they will wear that first week to help keep things stress free.

• Plan lunches. Make a list with your child of the types of foods they like to eat for lunch. I love all the ideas I have gotten on Pinterest for new ways to pack lunches. This is a great time to try some new foods, like hummus or cottage cheese. If your child likes them, you’ll have more options for lunchtime. It’s also helpful to copy off the first month’s lunch calendar so your children can pick out which days they will have hot or cold lunch in advance.

• Get the calendar ready. Have a calendar posted that the whole family can see with September events and schedules from music classes, football games, and don’t forget the first day of school. I use a big dry erase calendar that I switch each month. It’s easy to add and change events.

• Get organized! Make sure you have everything in order and ready to go from documentations needed or child well checks and immunizations. Check with the school’s website to make sure you have everything needed before the first day of school. It’s also helpful to get your house in order, cleaned and organized before school starts.

• Read books or watch movies about going back to school. Some fun movies for school-age children are: Matilda, Dairy of a Wimpy Kid, Harriet the Spy, Akeelah and the Bee, Freaky Friday, Nancy Drew, and High School Musical.

• Try to slowly get back into your regular routine. Begin by:
o Eating all meals similar to the times they will eat during the school year.
o Reestablishing regular bedtime routines from bathing, teeth brushing, story time and tucking in.
o Make sure your child is getting enough sleep each night from 9 to 10 hours.
o Start to put your child down for bedtime a little earlier each week until the week before school so that they are going to bed at the time they will when school begins. Do the same for wake up times too.

Here are some helpful tips for those children who are going to school for the first time:

• Start reading books about going to school for the first time.
What to Expect at Preschool (What to Expect Kids) by Heidi Murkoff
Preschool Day Hooray! by Linda Leopold Strauss
Maisy Goes to Preschool: A Maisy First Experience by Lucy Cousins
Llama Llama Misses Mama by Anna Dewdney
I Love You All Day Long by Francesca Rusackas

• Drive by the school and point out, “There’s your new school.” If possible walk around, check out the playground and show your child the entrance to the building.

• Watch movies about going to school. Some great movies for preschoolers are: Curious George Back to School, Daniel (Tiger) Goes to School, Sesame Street Ready for School, Caillou Goes to School, Nickelodeon: The First Day of School, Bubble Guppies: Get Ready for School, and Leap Frog Let’s Go To School.

• Learn the teachers’ names and something about them to tell your child.

• Meet the teachers and have a tour of the classroom before school starts (often schools will have an Open House).

• Have conversations about the kinds of things they will do at school (playing on the playground, playing with new friends, doing art projects, playing with blocks, etc.) and ask your child if they have any questions about school.

• Take pictures of the school, classroom, teachers, and make a little book just for your child.

• Share memories with your child of some fun school recollections you had for our first day at school.

• Tell your child often and how much fun school is!!

And don’t forget there is still time to enjoy summer!

Outdoor Fun Around Town!

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By: Angy Talbot (ECFE Blog Writer)

Summer is the perfect time of year to enjoy all the fun places you can go in Minnesota with the kids! Listed below is a list of activities and places of interest around our state and town that you can do outdoors:

Sherburne National Wildlife Refuge
https://www.fws.gov/refuge/sherburne/
Free Family Event Schedule 2016
https://www.fws.gov/uploadedFiles/2016%20Event%20Schedule(2).pdf
Wildlife and nature viewing from sandhill cranes, eagles, plants, butterflies and the smallest of the animal species.

Elm Creek Park Reserve
https://www.threeriversparks.org/parks/elm-creek-park.aspx
The park features more than 20 miles of paved hiking and biking trails, miles of turf hiking trails, a chlorinated swimming pond, children’s play area and more!

Downtown Elk River Riverfront Concerts
http://www.elkrivermn.gov/DocumentCenter/View/469
Check out the Thursday night live concerts at downtown Elk River’s Rivers Edge Commons Park all summer long.

Oliver Kelly Farm
http://sites.mnhs.org/historic-sites/oliver-h-kelley-farm
Meet the animals in the barn and help work on the farm by picking vegetables or churning butter in the kitchen.

Minnesota Landscape Arboretum
http://www.arboretum.umn.edu/
Over 1,100 acres of gardens, woods and trails.

Walker Arts Center Sculpture Garden
http://www.walkerart.org/calendar/2008/walker-on-the-green-artist-designed-mini-golf
There are many free events including Free First Saturdays.

Como Zoo and Conservatory
http://www.comozooconservatory.org/
Not only can you visit the animals and gardens, the zoo and conservatory offers many different activities, classes and programs. Blooming Butterflies opened on June 17th.

Minnehaha Regional Park
https://www.minneapolisparks.org/parks__destinations/parks__lakes/minnehaha_regional_park/
Minnehaha Regional Park covers 167 acres of nature, gardens and waterfalls.

Harriet Alexander Nature Center
http://www.ci.roseville.mn.us/index.aspx?nid=183
The boardwalk and trails circulate through 52 acres of marsh, prairie and forest habitats.

Woodland Trails Park – Elk River
http://www.elkrivermn.gov/facilities/Facility/Details/31
Bike, walk or hike the trails.

Lake Maria State Park – Monticello
http://www.dnr.state.mn.us/state_parks/lake_maria/index.html
The marshes, potholes, and lakes provide excellent habitat for wildlife.

Things to do in Elk River with the kids!
http://www.familydaysout.com/kids-things-to-do-usa/elk-river/mn
Many activities and attractions listed with detailed information and directions to each location.

There are so many ways to explore Minnesota and there is so much that our state has to offer. For even more events and activities go to:
Explore Minnesota
http://www.exploreminnesota.com/things-to-do/

Time to put on the sunscreen and discover all that summer has to offer. See the sights and travel around! Minnesota summers sure fly by . . . so take pleasure in it while you can. We’ll be shoveling snow soon enough!

Summer Fun Bucket List

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By: Angy Talbot (ECFE Blog Writer)

Summer is the best time of year to enjoy fun and amusing activities with your children. Here is a fabulous summer bucket list to get the season started!

1. Make Snow Cones
2. Homemade Popsicles
3. Home Depot Kids Workshops
4. Wash Car In Swimsuits
5. Outdoor Movie
6. Backyard Camp-out
7. Local Outdoor Concert
8. Swim at Different Pools or Beaches in the Area
9. Build Blanket Forts
10. Tie-Die T-Shirts
11. Make Homemade Ice-Cream
12. Go Berry Picking
13. Water Balloon Fight
14. Local Library Events
15. Make Playdough
16. Go on Picnics
17. Stargaze
18. Paint Your Own Pottery
19. Plant a Garden
20. Plant Flowerpots
21. Visit a Museum
22. Go to The Zoo
23. Game Night
24. Read a Book in the Shade
25. Feed Ducks and Geese
26. Bean Bag or Washer Toss
27. Go Fishing
28. Go For a Walk or Hike
29. Garage Sales
30. Try New Recipes
31. Go to a Carnival
32. Make Homemade Lemonade
33. 4th of July Parade
34. Run Through the Sprinkler
35. Make a Summer Journal
36. Play an Outside Sport
37. Go to a TWINS or Saints Game
38. Hunt For Bugs
39. Fly a Kite
40. Go to Different Playgrounds
41. Bird Watch
42. Paint or Art Outside
43. Treasure Hunt
44. BBQ
45. Planetarium
46. Nature Center
47. Visit a Farm
48. Sidewalk Chalk
49. Badminton
50. Hopscotch
51. Farmer’s Market
52. Tour Fire or Police Station
53. Make Birdfeeders
54. Make Jewelry
55. Plant a Tree
56. De-Clutter House
57. Scrapbook Family Photos
58. Visit Historic Sights
59. Write and Mail a Letter to Someone Special
60. Go Mini-Golfing
61. Make Homemade Lip Balm
62. Watch Favorite Children’s Movies From Parent’s Childhood
63. Play an Instrument
64. Make Up a Dance
65. Learn to Crochet or Sew
66. Play Dates With School Friends
67. Swimming Lessons
68. Create a Book
69. Science Experiments
70. Spa Day
71. Exercise Together
72. Water Sponge Ball Fight
73. Go Camping
74. Eat Outside on the Deck Often
75. I’m Bored Jar with Lists of Activities
76. Roller Skate
77. Skip Rocks
78. Slumber Party
79. Start a Collection
80. Build a Wind Chime
81. Sharpie Plates and Cups
82. Trace Shadow
83. Go For a Drive With the Windows Down
84. Watch the Sunset
85. Watch the Sunrise
86. S’mores By the Fire
87. Make Homemade Pizza
88. Climb a Tree
89. Art Museum
90. Build Sand Castles
91. Go to a Play
92. Participate in ECFE or Community Ed Classes
93. Play I Spy Outside
94. Bake cupcakes
95. Eat watermelon and Corn on the Cob
96. Squirt Bottle Fight
97. Drive-In Movie
98. Canoe or Boat Ride
99. Run in the Rain
100. TAKE A NAP!

What’s on your summer bucket list?

Learning Through Play

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By: Angy Talbot (ECFE Blog Writer)

“Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning. But for children play is serious learning. Play is really the work of childhood.” ~Fred Rogers

Play is how children begin to comprehend and grasp all the many concepts of their surroundings. Play is the groundwork for knowledge for young children. Children need opportunities to play in an atmosphere that promotes learning in all the areas of child development (Social Emotional, Fine Motor, Gross Motor, Cognitive, Language, Literacy, and Math). Today children do not have as many play opportunities with the increased demands of academic success, structured activities and technology devices from computers, phones and television. Many toys sold are battery operated and don’t allow for the building of imagination or make believe play. Early childhood classrooms give children a unique educational play setting that fosters imagination and dramatic play. The early childhood classroom allows for social development for children to learn to play with other children of the same age with trained and responsive teachers that guide and coach children to play successfully with one another.
Our ECFE and Discovery Learning Preschool programs are prepared and enriched learning environments that allow for children to have opportunities to explore many different learning areas from blocks, dramatic play, art, sand, water, music, writing, literacy, math, sensory, science, puzzles, games, and outdoor play. Play is an effective and enjoyable way for children to develop many learning skills. “Play is an important vehicle for developing self regulation as well as for promoting language, cognition, and social competence. Children of all ages love to play, and it gives them opportunities to develop physical competence and enjoyment of the outdoors, understand and make sense of their world, interact with others, express and control emotions, develop their symbolic and problem solving abilities, and practice emerging skills. Research shows the links between play and foundational capacities such as memory, self regulation, oral language abilities, social skills, and success in school” (NAEYC position statement on play). Play is the basis of initial learning, which helps children to develop understanding of fundamental concepts and inquiry skills.
In addition to being linked to self-regulation skills, studies have found that purposeful and productive play is positively related to:
• Memory development (Levy, Wolfgang & Koorland, 1992)

• Symbolic thinking (Davidson, 1998; Kim, 1999)

• Positive approaches to learning (Levy, Wolfgang & Koorland, 1992)

• Positive social skills (Corsaro, 1988; Levy, Wolfgang & Koorland, 1992)

• Language and literacy skills (Berk, 2009; Kim, 1999; Levy, Wolfgang & Koorland, 1992)

• Math skills (Berk, 2009; Kim, 1999; Levy, Wolfgang & Koorland, 1992)
(Research Foundation – Creative Curriculum)
Concepts are developed through activities that occur naturally during play, such as counting, sorting, sequencing, predicting, hypothesizing, and evaluating. They are engaged in things they’re interested in—so they have a natural motivation to learn (Shonkoff & Phillips, 2000). As a preschool teacher, I have seen first hand the differences in children who have opportunities to play. Children through play are learning academic concepts from the alphabet to math skills in a manner that is fun, enjoyable, and retainable. Many children come to school for the first time not having the ability to engage and cooperate with their peers. Play has given them the opportunities to learn to interact, share, take turns, and bond with their peers and to form relationships with adults other than their parents. Not only is play fun in preschool, it gives children the prospect to relate with others and learn many different concepts with hands-on materials by using their imagination and making abstract concepts become concrete.
“ Play is the highest form of research.” ~Albert Einstein

For more information on the benefits of play check out these informational articles:

It’s The Way Young Children Learn
http://www.childaction.org/families/publications/docs/guidance/PlayItstheWayYoungChildrenLearn_Eng.pdf

10 Things Every Parent Should Know About Play
https://families.naeyc.org/learning-and-development/child-development/10-things-every-parent-should-know-about-play