By: Angy Talbot (ECFE Blog Writer)
Routines and schedules help give children a sense of security. Maintaining regular daily routines makes it easier for children to deal with stress or life changes. Routines are especially important during particular times of the day from getting ready in the morning to bedtime. Stable routines help children to anticipate what will happen next, it’s actions and a guide to a specific goal. Routines should be regular, but flexible when needed. Unexpected events may cause for a change of routine. The goal is to be constant, but make changes adaptable when necessary. This helps prepare children to be flexible when unexpected events take place, and knowing that the routine will return the following day.
In the Article, Why Kids Need Routines, stated Seven Benefits of Using Routines with Your Kids:
- Routines eliminate power struggles.
Routines eliminate power struggles because you are not bossing the child around. This activity (brushing teeth, napping, turning off the TV to come to dinner) is just what we do at this time of day. The parent stops being the bad guy, and nagging is greatly reduced.
- Routines help kids cooperate.
Routines help kids cooperate by reducing stress and anxiety for everyone. We all know what comes next; we get fair warning for transitions, and no one feels pushed around, or like parents are being arbitrary.
- Routines help kids learn to take charge of their own activities.
Over time, kids learn to brush their teeth, pack their backpacks, etc., without constant reminders. Kids love being in charge of themselves. This feeling increases their sense of mastery and competence. Kids who feel more independent and in charge of themselves have less need to rebel and be oppositional.
- Kids learn the concept of “looking forward” to things they enjoy.
This is an important part of making a happy accommodation with the demands of a schedule. He may want to go to the playground now, but he can learn that we always go to the playground in the afternoon, and he can look forward to it then.
- Regular routines help kids get on a schedule.
Regular routines help kids get on a schedule, so that they fall asleep more easily at night.
- Routines help parents build in those precious connection moments.
We all know that we need to connect with our children every day, but when our focus is on moving kids through the schedule to get them to bed, we miss out on opportunities to connect. If we build little connection rituals into our routine, they become habit.
- 7. Schedules help parents maintain consistency in expectations.
If everything is a fight, parents end up settling: more TV, skip-brushing teeth for tonight, etc. With a routine, parents are more likely to stick to healthy expectations for everyone in the family, because that’s just the way we do things in our household. The result: a family with healthy habits, where everything runs more smoothly!
(Aha! Parenting.com, Copyright ©2017 Dr. Laura Markham)
I have found as a parent, the most important routines of the day are morning rituals, meal times and bedtime. These regular schedules provide the day with structure. The key is also being prepared.
Morning Rituals: For our morning rituals, we do some prep work the evening before by preparing lunches, setting out outfits and packing backpacks. This has eliminated stress in the morning and time. These tasks also help teach organizational skills and time management. A visual schedule can be used to show the routines of the day from: wake up, use the bathroom, eat breakfast, brush teeth, brush hair and get dressed. Pictures of each activity can be used to visually see the order and what they should do next.
Meal Time Routines: When children have a mealtime routine, they know what to expect when it is time for family meals. Dinnertime gives families the opportunity to talk about their day and share their feelings. There can be many routines from washing hands, setting the table, helping with the meal or clearing the dishes.
Bedtime Rituals: Bedtime rituals make it easier to get children to bed at night. For my daughter, we had a visual schedule of each activity she needed to do before bed. The schedule was pictures of her doing each ritual placed in order. Beginning with bath, pajamas, brush teeth, two stories, get tucked into bed, lights out and ending with sleep. We did the same routine each night and she could look at her schedule to know what came next and what was expected.
I have also found that giving children a 5-minute warning before a routine or ritual helps children to finish what they are doing and to become more prepared for their next tasks. Routines and rituals make it easier for families to become organized and get things done. Family life may be chaotic without these types of structure. There are no rules for what routines and rituals you need. It’s about finding what works best for your family.
Here are some great resources to get you started on establishing family routines and rituals:
Creating Structures and Rules
The Importance of Routines for Children
It’s the Little Things: Daily Routines
Here is a wonderful website that has many visual schedules and other tools you can use at home and in school: http://setbc.org/pictureset/